Hu let the dogs out?
Knock, Knock….Hu’s there?
Hu let me eat this much chocolate?….ok, I’ll stop now.
Anyway, everyone I know has been dying for us to check this place out (DYING I tell you. Only 3 causalities so far…so we’re good) so Bella, my friend Allie and I decided to go.
Physically, it’s sort of like a market place with different bars you can check out like the hot food bar, the cold sides bar, the dessert bar etc. They also have snacks like chocolate bars and kale chips and such…except even though it has vegan options, it is mainly paleo, which is why it has more of a rustic dungeon-y feel. Very dark lighting. Wood interior. Lot’s of meaty (And extremely attractive) men in gym clothing hanging around, you get the drift. Most of their stuff is dairy free but they have meat and eggs for those pale, cave-men/women folk.
First of all, Allie and I didn’t get the best vibes from the place. It’s a little weird, not going to lie. Also the food is incredibly confusing. For the hot bowl station, their options legit made no sense. Instead of quinoa or sautéed greens beings the base, it was like cold slaw and shit. I was like, what the fuck is going on rn!?
Also some of the staff was really rude. Allie asked them a question and they were kind of dismissive towards her #rude. Then I asked what this lasagna-looking dish called “Grandmaster Veg” was… and this was legit the counter guy’s response “Um…didn’t you read the tag?? It’s Grandmaster Veg“. So there you have it ladies and gentleman. Grandmaster Veg is indeed Grandmaster veg. I am enlightened.
Here were the positives though. I flirted with two of thecounter boys where were sexy AF and very kind, so that’s always a positive. And some of the food was pretty decent.
For drinks, Bella got pineapple water which she LOVED! I got watermelon water which was just “eh” and according to Allie, the coconut milk latte, (and I quote her exact words) “tasted like ass”. L O L.
For food, Allie got a bunch of hot sides including roasted sweet potato, grilled pineapple, and brocolli or something. She said it was eh. I got the cold slaw from the cold bar. Eh again.
HOWEVER…Bella and I got a hot bowl with mashed sweet potato as the base with veggie chilli and puffed quinoa on top and it was actually so AMAZEBALLS. (Didn’t get a photo because it looked gross, but it was actually really good!) Bella also got chia pudding with toppings and she seriously dug it (Ps the paleo brownie bites are not vegan, they have eggs in them, those fuckers)
So bottom line, would I return for the food? No. Would I return for the men. Still no. I’m not that desperate. But maybe I’d return for the hot chili bowl. Because I’m a food whore and will twerk for food.